Family Focus Adoptions

I adopted my son David with the help of Family Focus Adoptions. Before coming to them, I had a horrible experience trying to adopt which was not only heartbreaking for me, but abusive of the boy I was prevented from adopting. I spent a total of ten days visiting with him before being rejected (a decision made by a county social worker based on my having written an autobiographical book about hustling and drug use ten years in the past). My experience with Family Focus was the opposite: from the beginning they promised me they would not allow another child to be harmed in the process. It would take time, they told me, but it would work. I trusted them. They were extremely smart and thoughtful, hard-working, and caring. Jack Brennan, the head of adoptions, drove across NY state just to meet, by himself, the boy he had in mind for me to adopt. Then Jack asked me (and my then partner) to make the drive for a single short meeting. That meeting led to another trip for the weekend. Then David visited briefly in NYC with us, then came again for a longer period, then finally moved in three months after we met. The adoption was finalized only a year and a half later, after we had gone up the six steps of Family Focus’s transition process, which always gives the child a way to get out of a situation that for whatever reason doesn’t feel right to him. The power to move ahead is in the hands of the child, and he has to ask Family Focus to move us a step forward, and finally the child has to ask to be adopted. (I can certainly remember David asking me to adopt him—definitely one of the high points of my life.) He’s empowered and in control and comfortable. It’s great. It’s the way it should be everywhere, but in fact Family Focus is unique. I really believe they’re the best adoption agency in the whole country (and they’re always winning awards for excellence, including two recent national ones, so I’m clearly not alone in my assessment). They’re also among the most gay-friendly agencies. Family Focus deserves a lot of praise and support for their amazing work. I’m honored to have recently been elected to their Board of Directors and thus pledge to do all I can to support them, which will include asking everyone I know to support them, too (so please pitch in if you can). Of all institutions, Family Focus (the “anti-bureaucrats”) is my favorite. For anyone considering adoption, I urge you to contact Family Focus. Their website is http://familyfocusadoption.org . They’re the best.